Divorce doesn’t mean failure. In fact, divorce may be the mark of a successful marriage concludes Shana Lebowitz in a story titled, “Divorce isn’t a failure, therapists say. In fact, it could mean the marriage was a success.” For the article, she interviewed several marriage therapists. Here are some quotes to consider.
“Your marriage has one goal,” Hal Runkel said. “Marriage has evolved into a people-growing machine.”
Runkel says that it highlights the areas where you need to grow and change. As Laura Markham puts it, disagreements are opportunities to “grow yourself.”
According to therapist Rachel Zamore satisfaction in relationships depend on our attitudes toward change. We need to embrace our experiences as opportunities for growth. Too often we rate experiences based solely on whether it makes us happy or not.
And sometimes you change to the point that you see your marriage differently and understand that it is time to leave. Even if you did not initiate the divorce, you will have a much better experience during and after divorce if you look at it with a learning and growing lens.
Your attitude to your marriage breakup will help you make sounder decisions
You are also much more likely to make sound decisions during the process, our three family law attorneys say. Feelings of failure and rejection work against good decisions and strong recovery. David Jones, John Groseclose, and Larry Lofgren are careful to explain the pros and cons of each decision to clients. Clients, however, must make crucial decisions in divorces. You can help ensure sound decisions with a more realistic look at your marriage and the breakup.